Chop Wood, Carry Water

It’s one of my least favorite times of year. Approaching the date where everybody resolves to be a better person in some sort of way and then burns out on their efforts after only a few weeks. I describe it as that because it’s exactly what happens to me every year. I actually LOVE the idea of New Year’s Resolutions. I think that each of us should constantly strive to be a better person and should have an ongoing evaluation system of how we can accomplish that. But each year I get more and more frustrated with my failed results.

This year I’ve put a lot of thought into why I haven’t seen much success with resolutions so I can make one that I hopefully can live up to. Here’s what I’ve come up with. I think that most of our resolutions (or at least mine) go against the person that we inherently are. For example, some of my previous resolutions have been things like : To balance my checkbook once a month, To drink 8 glasses of water a day, To not eat fried food, To recycle more ( I actually did this one, but not really because it was a resolution), to save money for a trip, etc.  These are things that might not be that difficult for many people to accomplish, however as most of you know: I am the most scattered person ever.

A friend of mine asked me a few weeks ago what I meant by “scattered” so just a few examples from just the last year of my life. I threw away my car keys in the gas station garbage can. I had to dig through other people’s old alcohol and trash in the middle of the gas station lot to retrieve my soggy garbage keys. This is the type of thing that could happen to me any given day. So could this text conversation that recently took place between me and my mother (recently as in THIS month):

Mom: You are in big trouble

Me: Why?

Mom: I just got pulled over in your car and your tabs expired last July and you have no proof of insurace

Me: I have proof of insurace

Mom: Where? I looked everywhere

Me: In my purse

Mom: Why would you keep it in your purse?

Me: Because I always have my purse when I drive

Mom: Right, but it needs to insure the car, not just you!

Me: What are tabs?

Mom: The things that I got pulled over in your car two summers ago for being expired

Me: Oh, so clearly I got new ones if these just expired this summer

Mom: Right. The point is you have to continue getting new ones

Me: That seems ridiculous. Why would you want to renew something just to renew it again! I never should have gotten new ones two summers ago! Now look at the mess of renewals I’m in.

At this point the conversation came to an end because my mother wanted to slap me.

Another disgruntled text conversation between me and baby daddy recently took place when I sent the girls to stay the night with a diaper bag that consisted of a shirt and socks for the three year old (no pants),  pants and one shoe for the baby (no shirt or socks).

So these are just a few types of scattered I am. I’ve also “misplaced” my baby once or twice, had my water turned off (I thought it was part of my utility bill) missed my freeway exit TWICE because I was singing to Lady Gaga, ran out of gas (maybe several times), forgotten all of your birthdays, gotten lost a minimum of one time a week, ruined 45% of things I’ve attempted to cook, and lost phones, purses, shoes, coats, kids, bills, books, and clearly my mind.

As I read through this very short list of some of the highlights of 2009, is there any question that I was not able to follow through on a resolution to balance my checkbook every month?

So my resolution for 2010 is simply this: To laugh more. Even more specifically: to laugh at myself more. I’ve spent years trying to make myself be someone I’m not. I’ve stressed over my scatteredness to no end. I’ve tried to hide it, to alter it, to justify it, and now I’m just ready to laugh at it. The people in my life who matter already know, and accept these things about me. A perfect example of this. A few months ago I was getting ready to go to Spokane to visit some friends and somebody asked me the night before I left who was picking me up from the airport. My reply “I haven’t even thought about it.” Hours away from leaving Boise and I hadn’t even thought about how I’d get from the airport to where I was going. I called up a friend in Spokane and before I could even say anything she informed me she’s already planned for me to be picked up from the airport, taken to lunch, and then transported to the place I was staying. She completely gets my scattered self.

So that’s it. No life altering resolution. No drastic change. Just me, laughing… sometimes at me. I think it’s fun, and fitting and I am looking for suggestions on ways to increase my daily allowance of laughter.

What about you? Any resolutions that have worked/not worked? Your responses don’t have to be funny if they’re submitted before 2010, so no pressure.