Chop Wood, Carry Water

Please forgive me for all the times I referred to brides as “bridezilla.” I had no idea how many spreadsheets they were having to look at on a daily basis.

Please also forgive me for the judgement I passed on couples who elope. I had no idea how many spreadsheets they avoided by making that decision.

Please let my family and friends forgive me for the endless amounts of craft projects I have exposed them to. Let their fingers be protected from paper cuts, glue gun burns, and non-water based paint messes.

Please allow this head cold to be the type that you forget after 3 glasses of wine- in which case I’ll be fine by the time the ceremony starts.

Please let my vows magically appear in my head at least one hour before my wedding begins. And please let them be better than this first draft. 

Please let my feral children be on the endearing side of the term, more than the destructive side. I ask that their threats of “kicking someone in the nuts” materialize on a different day than this one.

Please let the bills be “close enough to being paid” that the essential things will show up.

Thank you for alcohol. Thank you for cold medicine. Thank you for honeymoons.

Thank you for my future husband who is much better at crafts than I am.

Thank you for all our loved ones who we tricked into adventuring up a mountain for us!

Most importantly, please protect all future couples who utter that seemingly harmless phrase “we just want to throw a big party.”

Amen.