Chop Wood, Carry Water

The second you get married people will start asking you this question. “How is married life?” Not just a few times, not just for a few weeks, but apparently for the first few years of your marriage. I have blundered my way through a response too many times to count.

Let’s recap my life before marriage.

-Future husband and I lived together for several years.

-I had two blond children that nobody believes belong to me.

-I work as a librarian and write about parenting.

Let’s recap my life after marriage.

-Husband and I still live together.

-Now people are really confused about the blond children.

-I’ve added marriage to the random list of things I sometimes write about.

Otherwise, things are exactly the same. Which is how I usually answer the question about married life.

Sometimes this guilt creeps in that I’m doing it wrong. Was something supposed to be monumentally different? How are you supposed to answer that question?

If I’m going to be honest, this is how married life is going.

The husband and I are both home sick today. I have claimed the downstairs as my “sick kingdom.” I have not moved off the couch since arriving home last night at 8:30. Husband is living in the upstairs quarters. I can hear a lot of people dying on his TV show. Like A LOT. He loves me enough to not tell me what is happening, or what he is watching, but he’s not concerned to the extent that he is going to shut the door. I am watching Gilmore Girls and crying over the reality of children growing up, blond ones and those pesky brunettes on TV. I love him enough to not make him watch Gilmore Girls with me, or watch my ugly crying face, but I’m not concerned to the extent that I’m planning on stopping.

We throw things to each other when we need them. Some of the things are heavier than the recommended weight for flinging down a flight of stairs. We yell words of encouragement every once in awhile. This morning he stumbled down the stairs and overcooked an egg for me.

That is how married life is going. It is messy, and lovely, and full of throwing heavy objects. So maybe my lack of an answer to the question doesn’t reflect something wrong or unusual, but the simple fact that my life was already pretty great (and hard) before I got married.

Oh, and I get to wear a shiny ring with mountains on it now. So married life is pretty cool.