Tag Archives: pregnancy loss

On time

I woke up this morning to a 6-month-old baby. Every few weeks I still remind my husband that this child has lived longer in my womb than he has out in the world. I need someone else to feel the gravity of that statement. I was pregnant forever, I often groan. There are so many complicated factors when it comes

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What I am due on my due date

I have the ability to choose the worst  checkout line every time I shop, regardless of the store. For years I thought it was just my absentminded nature. I must not notice which line is the longest. I tried to make the best of it, laugh and change my ways. I was vigilant about what line I chose every time

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What I Know About Izzy

Sixteen days have passed since she was born. Twenty one since we learned that she was no longer alive. Today is the first time that I opened up the mailbox to see only bills peering back at me. No cards. No gifts. The gas bill is late. My oldest told me that she misses her.  I believe she means it

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I Can Only See Yellow

When we were in the hospital the Chaplain brought us coloring pages. My nurse, who helps grieving parents,  told me that for some women coloring is the closest they can get to finding a ‘nothing place’. A nothing place is where you go to not feel the pain all around you. It helps you survive the burning house. So I try

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