When you propose to a librarian, you don’t really know what you are in for. You think you’ll have a lifetime of good book suggestions, but you don’t know you’ll have to pull off a literary themed wedding.
But as a true librarian, when we decided to write our own vows I had to start out with some research. I needed to understand where vows came from in order to know what I would want my specific vows to say. I learned a lot. I know about Catholic vows and Jewish vows. Ancient Roman vows and Quaker vows. I discovered some common themes, some popular terms, and I now get the general gist of how vows work.
But what struck me the most as I sorted through example after example of weddings vows from across time and space, is that there isn’t a single one you haven’t already fulfilled.
We met exactly 3 years ago today. In those 3 short, but remarkable years, you have been by my side in sickness and in health. In too much sickness, to be honest, for 3 years to hold. Too many surgeries, too many crutches, and braces, and machines, and appointments. But always there you were. A huge smile. Obnoxiously optimistic. Binge watching Netflix right beside me. Acting as if there was no where else you would rather be.
In three years you have shared with me completely. And not just myself, but my daughters as well. We come as a package deal. One that not everyone can afford. And although you were hesitant at first, as any sane person should be, when you committed you gave yourself completely. You’ve shared in the laughter, the love, and lots and lots of crying and tantrums. I’ve never once been worried that you wish you could return this package.
The truth is, we were good before we met you. Which set the stage perfectly for you to make everything complete. Which is what you do. You leave everything just a little better than you found it. From wild terrain that you love, to the people that you cherish. Nothing remains stagnant when you are around.
That inspiration has made you the easiest person to be with that I could have ever imagined. You have always had the strongest ideals for who you will be in our relationship. You will be supportive. You will be positive. You will be kind and compassionate. You are so good at this that we rarely even fight or disagree. On the rare occasion that we do, it is probably about music. Music might be the most divisive force in our relationship. So as a peace offering today, I’ve searched as hard as I could to find the closest thing to good lyrics that your favorite band has to offer. From their song “waste” this is what Phish has to say.
“A dream, it’s true and I’d see it through
If I could be wasting my time with you.
Come waste your time with me. “
This wedding is certainly not a waste of time. This is something we’ve been dreaming of for 1 ½ years. But it is not what I am the most excited about. I am excited to go on new adventures with you. I’m excited to learn new things with you. And yes, I am even excited to waste time with you.
You have been open and honest, you have lived for better and worst, essentially you have used up all the words that one would typically put in their vows.
So, the only true vow I feel like I can give to you here today before our friends and family, is that I will spend a lifetime trying to live up to the standard of vows that you have already set.
I love you.